A Day in the Life of Paula: The Princess & The Water

Incident/Accident Report

Date: Friday February 23, 2007

Time: 10:20 am

Location: Price Chopper Parking Lot

Parties Involved: Myself, Jason & two cases of water

Brief Description: After picking up two EXTRA LARGE cases of bottled water for the scale house staff (who were supposed to be reusing the bottles that they had, but decided to throw them out instead), Jason and I carried one case each. I should mention here that it was my decision to get the extra large cases. I should also mention that Jason offered to carry both cases, but I had to be a brave-star and carry my own. Women's Lib - MY ASS!!!

Jason was walking a few steps ahead of me and I was taking small quick steps, so I wouldn't loose my momentum. Well, I lost it. I tripped/stumbled/did absolutely nothing on some uneven concrete and fell down.

Jason turned and saw the case of water on the floor, but didn't turn around completely and therefore DID NOT SEE ME ON THE GROUND!!! I had to call out to him, "Jason? Jason, I fell." He quickly came over and bent down to ask me if I was okay. I started to get up, but first replaced the "Thank You" sticker on the top of the case, so everyone would know that I actually purchase the case of water that I had just thrown 50 feet. Okay, so it was only 1.5 feet, but remember - it was the XL case!

I twisted/rolled my left ankle on the uneven concrete and fell down on the right side of my body. My jeans were covered in dust, my boots were all scratched and dusty, but somehow, my WHITE vest was clean!!!

I started to get up and Jason picked up both cases of water and with NO EFFORT was able to put them in the Region truck. I limped to the truck and hoisted myself into the passenger seat. And started laughing. Laughing my ass off. I started to survey the damage. My left ankle was throbbing and my right knee was really, really hurting.

I went to dust off my pants, and the entire truck filled with dust from my pants - how gross! I lifted up my pant leg to find BLOOD! My knee was skinned and bruised and bleeding. Again, I busted out laughing. Jason told me to stop laughing, but I explained that if I didn't laugh, I would cry.

We made our way back to the scale house, and as Jason carried both cases of water, he almost slipped on some black ice. Suddenly the scale house door opened and one of the ladies remarked, "Oh look at the Princess who won't carry the water!!!"

Clearly, she didn't notice that the Princess was LIMPING, DIRTY AND BLEEDING!!!!!

I proceeded to tell my story to all 18 people in the scale house, all the while laughing (so I wouldn't cry). Jason re-enacted how I looked on the ground and my supervisor is making me fill out an accident report. Seriously? This is what that report looks like:

I was walking. I fell. I am an idiot. Jason didn't see me because he was ahead of me, so I had to say, "Jason, I fell. Jason?"

We then returned to the office, so I could fill out my accident report and retell the story one more time. We also had access to a camera, which is never good...